Elesa Duggan’s day begins like a normal 14-year-old’s. She gets herself up and dressed. Then wakes up her four-year-old sister Laura. They have breakfast together, which is always a bowl of Frosties as it Laura’s favourite. This is where things differ, because Elesa not only makes the breakfast, she also washed and dresses Laura and drops her off at Nursery before making her own way to school. Elesa has been caring for her sister in Sheffield since 2019. Their mother Susan, 39, was admitted into rehab in June 2019 for drug addiction.
Their father, John, who is the biological father to both girls. He works as a security officer which means his hours can be long and require him to work overnight shifts. Her grandparents are both unwell in a care home, while her other grandparents live in New Zealand. This leaves Elesa to care for her sister.
“Sometimes my days can be tough” says Elesa. “I feel it is like having my own child. I know my father feels guilty about it sometimes but it is not his fault. My daily routine changes depending on what my dad is working that week.” There are some days where John is home for the day. He will wake up, dress and take Laura to school instead of Elesa.
Elesa’s typical day starts at 7:30am when she wakes herself and her sister up for breakfast. “We always have a bowl of Frosties. Laura loves them so she’s always cheery after eating.”
Elesa then gets Laura dressed for the day. “There always has to be something purple involved otherwise she won’t keep it on.” she states, “I always plait her hair too, because our mum used to do it. She still always comes out with her hair a mess and paint god knows where from their art lessons.”
The walk to the Nursery is not far from Elesa’s house in Broomhall. They begin the walk just after 8:15am. “Laura goes to Broomhall Nursery and I study at Notre Dame High School. Laura does a core day which is from 9:30 to 3:30 which coincides perfectly with my day. She gets dropped off a bit early as I have to be in for 9. However, they run a breakfast club, so Laura is always welcomed in.”
At school, Elesa meets up with her friends as they go to their first lesson of the day. “I sometimes find it difficult to concentrate during the day. I worry about Laura, I once had to leave school early as she had a break-down about wanting to see our mum and my dad couldn’t get there quick enough. She never mentions it as she is only young but since that incident, I have always been uneasy about how she is coping.” Elesa’s teachers are aware of the situation as they were informed by John. The school has offered Elesa time to see the school councillor, if she should need it. “My school have been very supportive of our situation. Teachers often ask me if I am alright, and usually I get extra time to do my school work, which helps me out a lot.”
At 12:15 Elesa gets lunch with her friends. “They are usually talking about boys or something fun they did on the weekend. I never go out with them as I have to watch out for Laura so I do feel left out, instead I start thinking about what to cook for dinner. It is hard to connect with my friends sometimes as they lead different lives. They don’t have someone else to worry about, or have to worry about going out with each other on the weekend.”
The school day ends at 3:35pm, Elesa says goodbye to her friends and makes her way down to the Nursery. “I’m always ten minutes late but the staff are very understanding, Laura is always waiting for me, holding whatever she has made or written that day ready to show me. The walk home is always my favourite, Laura loves school and describes to me everything that she learnt or did. Her constant enthusiasm rubs off on me.”
They arrive home around 3:45pm, Elesa then runs a bath for Laura. “She enjoys a bath, thank god. I put her in a bath as soon as we get home to wash away the events of her day, and then I change her into pyjamas so I don’t have to worry about doing it later on.”
Elesa starts dinner around 5pm once her and Laura are washed and dressed. “I do pride myself on the fact I can cook better than my friends. We usually have something that can be heated up later on for my dad, Mac & Cheese is my favourite to make so we have it quite a lot. Laura is a good eater so she’s always happy with what she gets, we sit around the table to eat to talk about our day.”
After dinner, Laura plays with her guinea pigs before she goes to bed. “It’s a treat for her to play with them, it’s a good way to keep her happy while I clean up. It’s a good way to keep her occupied and a good bribe, she know’s if she’s good while having a bath and about going to bed. She can play with the Guinea Pigs.”
It is then time for Laura to go to bed. “I usually send her to bed around 8 and she goes without an issue. I read her a book every night, at the moment we’re reading Roald Dahl books. Her favourite is ‘The Twits’ so I often repeat that one. We have a tradition where I kiss all her stuffed animals goodnight so they don’t feel left out when I say goodnight to her. When I leave Laura, I don’t hear or see her until the morning usually.”
Elesa then goes downstairs. “I tend to use this time to do my work, if I don’t have any then I like to watch Friends on the telly. I tend to try and wait up to see my dad but sometimes he won’t be back until gone midnight so I don’t bother.”
It’s then time to go to bed for Elesa. “I go whenever I’m tired so my bedtime differs. Unless my dad gets back, we speak for a while but he usually sends me to bed if it’s past 10. I like to read a bit before I go to sleep instead of playing on my phone. That tends to keep me up longer.”
On the weekend Elesa and Laura spend Saturday playing games or relaxing. “Saturday is different as I have nowhere to be. I still make her Frosties and get her dressed but then we sit downstairs and watch telly, Laura plays with her Guinea Pigs a lot too. My dad works most Saturdays but not as late, so we eat dinner together.”
Elesa cooks the dinner’s on Saturday for her family. “It’s strange without my mum there, she’s expecting to get out within the next month so it will be nice to have her back. I won’t have to worry so much about Laura and cooking.”
On Sundays, John has the day off to spend with his daughters. “I love Sundays.” “Elesa States, “my dad is home for the whole day, so he does everything for Laura and cooks us nice meals. He plays board games with us like Mouse Trap and Operation which we love. We usually get a roast dinner too, I help him out a little bit as he struggles to keep time of everything. It’s my favourite day of the week because I don’t have to do anything and my dad is home.”
“I don’t mind caring for my sister. I think that it gives us a stronger bond and we will have that as we get older. I know this won’t be forever so I keep going for Laura and my parents.”
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